Predatory Men

Yep, I've done it before - said what I needed to say to a woman to get the response I desired - to get her in the sack.

The biological imperative is such that men are more prone to having numerous partners to spread their seed around, while women are more prone to looking for one stable provider of security.

What this means is that many men are very good at saying the exact things women who are in need want to hear. Whether these men do this deliberately or intuitively I do not know, but they are impossible to spot because they are identical imitations of what an honest and loving man would be. Sane, well adjusted women are able to spot the fake man fairly quickly, but vulnerable, needy, hurt women are so desperately needing all that this man offers they are easy prey, and are likely to fall victim to his approaches - some of these men are obviously not too well adjusted either, so unable to see the problem with doing this, and I know in many environments (my workplace is one of them) - this behaviour is so ingrained and encouraged that many men in it support, encourage and revel in this stuff, which tends to mean they don't acknowledge it as wrong and thereby expose the women in such environments to the predatory approaches of men who are often a little spiritually sick themselves.



In my case I did it deliberately, because it requires deceit and dishonesty, something I am not naturally good at, but something which, when drinking I was capable of in order to try and satisfy a need for personal instant gratification in the form of sex.

Of course I was left feeling bad every time I did this, because what I was doing was building a little relationship with the woman in question and then tearing it down the next morning when I left and never rang again, without any honesty at all on my part.

I realise this behavour was wrong and intend to not follow those methods in my next relationship, whenever that may be, because it is likely to end up in getting with someone for all the wrong reasons and to end in disaster, as well as because it is psychologically harmful to the other person involved.

There may have even been a subconscious level of this sort of pretending to be what I was not with my initial contact with my ex missus, because we all want to portray ourselves as a person who is noble, honest and good, in order to have the other person like us, however my goal is to continue my recovery from this relationship in honesty with all people and myself.

Of course not drinking helps, in fact it almost makes it impossible for me to be dishonest; certainly I can't be dishonest deliberately although I have to be aware of the possibility of me thinking I am being honest when I am actually just deluding myself.

I hate Reader's Digest

Copy of an email I sent to them (names changed to protect the guilty):

Please stop sending me Reader's Digest, and do not provide my name or contact details to other parties for any reasons.

Thankyou.

The reason I have decided to stop receiving Reader's Digest is because I find your marketing and sales campaigns overbearing and incessant.

The Sweepstakes in particular put demands upon me last year to first of all try and work out which parts I needed to keep and which to return, then to have to pay for postage stamps in order to return the entry 'within 14 days' or 'within 7 days' as you continually seemed to implore.

The demand on my time and energy to decipher these entry documents meant I had to wade through lthe pages of paperwork you sent, and post some parts back while retaining others, sometimes having to remove decals from one thing and adhere them to another, and now, this year, when I don't send them back I discover that all my work last year was unnecessary because you are giving me free entry anyway.

I feel a little cheated that you trick some of us into going into all that bother to decipher your continued stream of entry documents which seemed to arrive every two weeks for a year, and yet you allow others to have free entry without having to go to all that trouble.

I cannot be bothered trying to continue to play the silly and demanding marketing games you like your customers to play, and I would like to no longer be sent any Reader's Digest information, subscriptions or "entries to win $500,000".

Please remove my name and address from all of your marketing and contact lists.

I am particularly displeased that despite me not returning your final subscription renewal notice, you have the hide to send me more magazines and then, no doubt, you will start to ask me to pay for them, despite the fact I neither want, nor asked for you to send these , and obliging me to spend still more of my time to write this letter asking you to stop sending me stuff.

I don't want any more Reader's Digest products, reading material, marketing material or sweepstakes entries, and I do not want you to forward my contact details to any other party.

Thankyou for your time, Tex, Australia

My telephone number is 555 666 666 if you wish to discuss this further.

Me ol' dad

Yeah, the old man is coming to visit me tomorrow for the rest of the week just to be a buddy, so that's nice.

I'm going fishing with another buddy in the morning so I will post a photo on here of my massive fish.

Met lots of nice people in AA meetings in the last few days, did lots of public crying and received lots of encouragement and kind words.

What a lucky person I am to have that support network, I do feel blessed, and loved by all these people.

There will be good times ahead, I am sure of it. That is one good things about bad times - you know if you get through them that good times are not far away, and that you can grow and learn from the bad.

Even had my old mate who's a beautiful 69 y.o. lady tell me I am a lovely man, very nice looking and would make a good catch, "so be careful of women who chase you too aggressively, you don't need anyone just yet", she said.

That was nice to know that someone thinks I am worthy and it made me feel a lot better about myself, and to realise that she is so right - the last thing I need is to fall into a relationship while I am vulnerable, because there is nothing surer than that doing so would result in not picking a suitable person and getting into a sick relationship.

I do need to just take it easy on myself, be kind to myself and others and ease back into the swing of life, developing some social relationships to do stuff with.

My old dear friend said she will let me take her to the movies, so that was nice of her.

A day at a time things are getting better and this will continue (with some possible setbacks and mood swings no doubt), so I am just glad to be alive, and for the first time in the last five days feeling happy within myself to some extent.

Oh fuck that last post shit

Yeah, fuck it, Tex is back and he's madder than ever!!!

Nah, just joking not mad, just going through waves of emotion, from depths of despair and grief to periods of comparitive calm and acceptance.

I am starting to truly accept what has happened and just now, for the first time, see that it is really over, and it will not be rekindled.

I don't need to go into all the detail of why I think that, because it is personal between me and the missus.

I need to start to detach from her a lot and just let her live her own life and take her own path, and just in the last hour or so I felt good about that, because over the last few days I was harbouring a secret little thought that maybe it would resolve itself.

I suppose this is just a normal part of the grieving process, and it takes the mind a few days or longer to adjust to a sudden and unexpected change in the direction of one's life - a bit like if one partner dies - and I now do see and accept that, for whatever reason, the relationship is dead, and I am ready to start to detach from it in a slow, careful and respectful manner to the missus.

Enough of my personal issues and on with blogging!!!!!!

What my mum said about the break up

"It is really difficult when someone basically says they don’t want to be with you. In your relationship with (the missus), the essence of you has changed as you have given up drinking and have time and brain energy to devote to thinking about life and the earth and humans place on it. It seems you are both growing in different directions and becoming different people to those you were when you first met.

I think you are right about (the missus) finding it easier to deal with a needy person. It always is. Even when something goes wrong it is “their fault’. However, in looking at your past relationship you did have some lovely times together and there was a lot of love. She provided you with tremendous support to enable you to grow to the more mature person you are today, and to give you the incentive to control your drinking. It is very hard to move on to the next passage in your life but maybe it helps to see the good from the last passage and accept that it is time to get on with the next passage.
As your sadness about the breakup becomes less you will see new possibilities that you can add to your life. It is important to grow from our experiences and not allow them to twist or embitter us. So try to make your feelings towards women gentle and accepting and not become embittered and resentful as can easily happen. I know you are thinking logically about all this so I am sure as time goes by you will grow stronger as a person. My yoga teacher tells me that all our life experiences are sent to teach us something. Sometimes I know with me it isn’t always something I necessarily want to learn. But the lesson comes anyway.

Oh, thanks mum.

Mum loves the missus too.

Whatever it is, she doesn't want to be with me, she says she needs to find out who she is without anyone else around, having been trying to be what she thinks others want her to be all her life.

The bottom line is that if one person says the relationship is over, then no amount of wishful thinking, sadness or work from the other person can stop the break up.

I accept, respect and love her and will try to remain positive toward other women who may enter my life.

I can accept and acknowledge this. I still feel sad, but I am hopeful for her and her search for happiness.

My late Grandfather

Well actually I had two of them and they're both dead, but just now I was thinking about my mother's father.What a lovely man he was.

He died of a heart attack in his early 70s I think. My grandmother went to visit my aunty interstate, and papa was lonely and missing her and feeling vulnerable and went to visit them too because he missed her, and he seemed to be in a weakened state due to his feeling this way and died when he got over there.Or maybe he felt in a poor frame of mind because his body was about to give out, I dunno, but because the missus is away, I was identifying with the feelings of loneliness he must have felt and just remembering what a nice man he was.

I was the first grand child on my mother's side of the family, so was lucky to get treated to lots of time with a loving and interactive grandfather, who lived on a dairy farm and took me on all the adventures of farm life.

-I remember being allowed to hold the torch when we got the cows in for early milking in the dark.
-I remember falling asleep next to him on the dual seat David Brown tractor while he was harrowing the fields on a cold winter day.

-I remember him roughing up my aunty's dog, Whiskey, which became his when she got married and left the farm, and saying to it "oh, you silly old thing" while he tousled it's head.

-I recall asking him "we won the war didn't we?" (he was a soldier and they had some old army greatcoats to wear on the farm on cold days), and he would never agree, just telling me "no one wins a war".

-I remember being given bran from the cow feed and milk from the dairy to have on my own breakfast.

-I remember him including me in all the jobs; feeding the calves, cleaning the dairy after milking, spreading 'fertiliser' (cow shit), making hay, fixing fences, getting firewood, tasting molasses, playing with farm dogs, chasing wild farm kittens which hissed and spat.

-I remember him starting the tractor off using the hand throttle across a paddock towing a trailer of hay or silage, putting me behind the wheel to steer while he climbed on the trailer to toss out feed to the animals.

-I most of all remember his gentle good humour, love of children and willingness to include them in the chores of his day without ever seeming angry, frustrated or annoyed at having them around.I hope to develop some more of his characteristics within myself.

Those fucking stupid cunt Kangaroo savers (again)

From The Melbourne Age, Tuesday May 20 (see here for full story)

Protesters have broken into a Canberra defence property in a bid to disrupt the controversial culling of more than 400 kangaroos - but targeted the wrong animals.
Instead of stopping the cull, they frightened and agitated a group of kangaroos which had been sedated and were due for release from a fertility trial, the Department of Defence said.

Yeah, I was going to post an older draft I made the other day about something when this story caught my eye.

I know yers all like a bit of a verbal tirade from Tex, so here it comes:

Fuck me, they are so full of compassion for Kangaroos that they blunder around causing more problems than they solve.

Even if these stupid cunts managed to somehow stop the cull (they won't - culls happen everywhere and every year), all they would do is create further environmental problems due to there being an overpopulation of kangaroos within the enclosed grounds they are being culled from.

They stir up angst and interest from well meaning but ultimately misguided and misinformed people from overseas who think the Eastern Grey Kangaroo is endangered or something, and if not, then.....well....it is cute and furry, and "I just love the environment, y'know?".

Well fucking wake up to yourselves and see the environment as a whole, not something to be managed by 'saving' a few starving kangaroos in an overpopulated enclosed facility.

Saving one particular animal because you lurve animals does not necessarily help the environment, or stop environmental degradation. I do totally abhor cruelty to animals, and don't support poaching of threatened species, but there are many cases where animals being killed by humans is either not an environmental issue, or is being undertaken to actually ease pressure on the environment (often caused by man admittedly, but just because we caused the problem, should we allow it to become worse in the name of 'saving' some animals?).

I kinda think it's a bit funny how they fucked up in their ridiculous attempt to save some fucking large hopping mice, but it is something other than funny also - it is a bit sad that they put these sedated creatures through stress. Half of these fuckwits have never seen animals in the fucking wild, all they do is sit in their little apartments in South Yarra, St.Kilda or fucking Newtown, smoking fucking dope and creating their little fantasy world where they save some kangaroos, personifying these poor critters, and then, when the shit hits the fan in "The Great Escape mark II", they can't understand why the critters they are trying to save don't all follow their rescuers like rats following the Pied Piper of Hamelin.

They are animals, they are just trying to eat, fuck and exist; they don't know about the threat to their life until the bullet knocks them off the perch, so they aren't like wrongly convicted criminals on death row; they are not like your fucking poodles or pekingese, or your fucking Burmese cat, they don't need or even want your help; they are not little fucking people, they are kangaroos, and sometimes they are killed for a very good reason.

Go back to the city and pontificate over the Sunday arts programs while you sip your flavored herbal tea and for fucks sake, if you want something to save, go to India or Africa, or South America or one of a hundred other countries and put your compassion to good use - there's heaps of cunts out there who would appreciate some money or concern. Maybe you need to have your own kids so you have a little person to fulfill your mothering need, but there's enough humans here already, so a more socially aware decision would be to not breed.

Happy Birthday Missus!!

Happy birthday to my wonderful, beautiful, sexy, smart, sassy, compassionate and loving Missus.

Unfortunately she is in Canberra today for work and won't be back till tomorrow, but I can't wait to see her.

She is my best friend and I feel lonely and a little vulnerable without her.

Pretty pathetic huh?

It's ok, I know everything will be ok, it's just that I am still learning to live with self acceptance and to discover that I am ok as a person in my own right, so when she is not here I can feel alone, abandoned, petulant (like a little boy who's lost his mother), and quite pathetic.

I wish I could just get over it and 'be happy' as I am fond of encouraging others to do (that's how I think sometimes anyway), but it is not always so easy.

The awareness of how I'm feeling and the ability to express it though is a good start. I spoke to my mother about it last night which made me feel better and see it as just a small problem, not the end of the world.

I am capable of blowing the way I feel up into a massive problem, as though it is the end of the world, and as if no one else has ever felt this way before, so to recognise what I am doing is the first step towards changing my behaviour.

In fact I feel better already.

I read a thought last night about trying to treat everyone else as though they are helping you. By taking this approach even people who annoy you can be seen as a positive in that they can help you to develop calmness, patience and even compassion for their behaviour, so that is one thing I will try to implement.

Missus goes away again on Friday, so I need to develop and initiate a more calm, relaxed and composed character during her absence, so don't be surprised if my posts tend toward more spiritual subjects of self awareness and personal development over the next week.

You see how I can turn a post about my lovely wife into one about me?

How bad and self centred is that?

She is my best friend, my wife, my partner through the strange and exciting adventure of life. She gives me the strength I need to grow as a human being, and she shows me the compassion and love which I need both from her and to develop more of within myself.

My missus is a shining example of a very smart person who does her job very well, with an amazing ability to see the social and human side of decisions made within the workplace, and to deal with people in a most diplomatic and sensible way.
(unlike people like myself who tend toward the confrontational - there I go again - more about me!).

She is someone with many qualities I admire, love and cherish, and I hope we stay healthy, happy and in love for a very long time.

She is the person I want to grow old with, to be able to spend our twilight years as a relaxed, loving, happy couple who more than anything enjoy time spent in one another's company.

Bushwalking photos

Clockwise from top left: Carlotta's Arch, First night's camp, caterpillars, spider trying to repair web walked through by someone ahead of us, and Swing bridge, named "Bowtell's Bridge".

Very fucking skinny, very high when you're in the middle and it swings, sways and bounces as you walk across. I even got a bit nervous, and I don't usually worry about heights. I wouldn't recommend this one to the missus.

A caveman in a modern world.

Yep, that's me.

and, I suspect, most of us.

Oh yes, we think we're so fucking sophisticated, so high and fucking mighty.

We can invent cool gadgets, like cars and mobile phones and aeroplanes, but really, deep down we are still cave men.

We have not had millions of years living the way we live, so we haven't had time to adapt to a sedentary, cerebral life based on intellectual stimulation rather than the physical stimulation of our ancestry.

What does this mean?

It means that all of our brains work in ways which would be useful to a caveman who encounters his own natural environment and place of residence every day, learning about where he lives, what he eats and how best to survive in that type of world.

They don't process large volumes of irrelevant information very well. They don't make assumptions based on 'gut' feeling very well, because assumptions which do apply in caveman world, such as "those other cavemen have found a good way to skin an animal, they all do it, so it is probably a good idea", don't adapt well to our modern world, where we are bombarded with the 'facts' that lots of people are doing something or buying something, therefore we should too. In caveman world the things we encounter usually are facts, whereas in our world, most of the information we are confronted with is controlled by the media, large proportions of which are controlled by small amounts of people who bombard us with their own view of the world (Rupert Murdoch springs to mind as one of the privileged few who exert this power).

Combine this with the fact that a caveman would try the new method, and if it didn't work as well he would keep skinning the animal the way he used to, as opposed to us buying useless shit, or adopting ridiculous stances in our opinions with no valid way of comparing their usefulness other than whether or not we 'feel good' about having that product or opinion and whether others agree, and you have lots of simple cavemen with money, spending it on shit they don't need, making assumptions about their world which are rubbish, and being easy targets of the advertising industry's rapacious quest to massage opinion (I include media and politicians as part of the advertising industry in this context).

Why is sex such a big selling point for most things? Because we are cavemen, still largely driven by our need to reproduce (ie: to fuck), so when you get women and men intermingling, there will always be eventually some sort of attraction between certain elements who find attractive features in their opposite number, such as looks, personality or opinions. This does not inevitably end up in them fucking wildly like animals, because, like in the animal kingdom, there are lots of reasons not to in many cases, such as social norms, loyalty to one's partner, or the realisation that there will be more stress caused by such action than the small period of pleasure instigated by such a meeting.

None of these facts though stop the basic biology which makes man attractive to woman and vice versa, so an acknowledgment of this basic drive must be included in an honest assessment of oneself. The recent innovation of sex being sanitised as "making love", is a bizarre way for humans to somehow elevate themselves above other species, and attempt to paint their own dirty, frenzied acts of fucking as some sort of beautiful, ethereal and heavenly experience.

Well, naturally it is euphoric, so in this sense I suppose you could say it is heavenly, but this is because our bodies are infused with endorphins when we fuck; this is how nature makes sure we keep doing it, and this is why it feels good, but the sanitisation of it to describe it as "making love", is to my mind anyway, just a denial of the basic fact that we are animals.

Most perfume is not just designed to smell nice, but also to cover up some of the normal smells of a caveman. Unfortunately, judging by the smells I encounter when I walk down the street, the cure is worse than the disease - some ladies smell like toilet freshener, the main element in their perfume seemingly being something made from petrol mixed with ammonia, with a hint of berry to soften the blow. Men who have bathed in aftershave to cover up their hangover breath are just as bad.

Get used to being a smelly, dirty, fucking animal and stop trying to be an on screen image of a clean creature with no faults.

Real Estate agents grow a conscience?

Here is a quote from the Real Estate Institute of Victoria chief executive, Enzo Raimondo:

"We asked the minister to consider that when auctions go online that the legislation is there to protect consumers and protect both parties in the transaction," REIV chief executive Enzo Raimondo said.

"We want to make sure that all the safeguards and protections of the legislation that apply in physical auctions and the disclosure of notices and requirements agents make are transparent to the online environment."

Yeah, fuckin' right! Those estate agents want to protect the public? Fuck off, they just can see how much commission they are missing out on when properties sell online rather than by going through the dubious services of a real estate agent.

In my opinion most of them don't actually do much work for the vendor, all they do is act as a place of advertisement, and as a contact point between potential buyers and the seller, and then take home a big commission, thank you very much.

In actual fact they are pretty good at talking the vendor down in order to get a sale, because a sale now means they get their commission now rather than wait for an indefinite period, with the property on their books. Of course a lower price means a slightly reduced commission, but in terms of work done for profit gained, a quick sale at a low price is much preferable to a long period of advertising and having to work at showing clients through the property.

We have ours on the market and admittedly we have a high price on it, because we don't really give a fuck if we sell it. If we get the price, and find someone who our property is just right for then good, otherwise, fuck off. So we have already had the "it's a falling market", "you may need to look at taking a little less" blah from them. Of course this sort of talk only started AFTER they got the property on their books.

They actually approached us with a "free valuation" ad in our letterbox, but they gave no valuation, all they did was use it as a point of contact, then asked me what I would like to get for the property. What sort of valuation is that? Anyway, luckily we don't really give a fuck, so they can either work for their supper or we will just keep it.

Fucking shysters, they're only one step away from used car salesmen and lawyers, making out they work for the vendor, when all they work for are themselves.

How good is your memory?

I'm not going to include a quiz to test your memory, or a few simple questions to answer which will result in a rating, the like of which you see in some glossy magazines to categorize many aspects of yourself, I am just going to include, as is my wont, unadulterated opinion, pure and clean of any so called evidence, except the evidence of logic.

I just saw a show (well a snippet of one, till it pissed me off), about some cunts in America who reckoned there is some animal they called a 'skunk ape' in North America. One interesting statement from the narrator was "Bob XXXX doesn't need evidence to prove the existence of the skunk ape", which I thought was an interesting choice of words, but one which could cover much of what us humans believe.

The reason this bloke doesn't need evidence is apparently because he saw one when he was seven.

Now I don't know about you, but I saw lots of things when I was seven, and my perception of them was not the same as when I was older. I remember some houses, cars and areas where I grew up, yet on going to those places or seeing those things when older, discovered they were quite different to my memories.

This comes as no real surprise, because if you show ten people the same thing you will have ten different perceptions (as long as you don't let them hear what each other says, otherwise perception becomes modified by what 'the group' perceives).

Take this difference in perception, and then try to include the random and inaccurate human memory and you will inevitably end up with skewed information.

I can think of another example of skewed perception in my earlier posts on the spiders in my house. These things look about 6 inches across and you often hear people say "the spider was the size of your hand", yet when I put the ruler next to one, I discovered they were only 3 and a half inches across, so my perception was of something 70 percent bigger than the actual size of the spider.

Once someone has seen something though, however briefly, and however long ago, they seem to become surer and surer of the features and size of what they saw. The more they swear they saw a Yeti, a Yowie, a Bigfoot or a skunk ape, the more I am sure they either saw something else, or they are making it up. The longer we go without seeing CLEAR photos or film, or biological evidence, the more unlikely it becomes that these sort of critters exist. Of course new species are discovered every now and then, but usually not large ones, because large ones usually require large areas to live in without being seen by humans, and there are less and less uninhabited places.

I remain a firm sceptic until I see something more than "I know what I saw", or "My Grandpa saw...", or "I know someone who knows someone who saw.....".

These fantasies seem to be a part of human nature - here in Australia we have a perpetual one of black panthers being seen, and sheep being found which could only have been killed by a large cat, yet no one ever gets clear photos or manages to shoot one.

In Tasmania, the Thylacine, which was also known as the Tasmanian Tiger or Tasmanian Wolf, although it was in fact a marsupial carnivore and not related to wolves or other canines, is extinct, the last one dying in captivity over 80 years ago, yet still we hear every now and then of someone who says they have seen one. Even on the mainland, where they have been extinct for thousands of years, there are occasionally people who claim to have seen one.

I can also think of an example I directly know of where someone saw a Tiger Snake in an area hundreds of miles from where Tiger Snakes had been seen in Western Australia. When I expressed doubt it was a Tiger Snake I was assured that it was, because the person who saw it 'would know', and 'it had stripes'. On further investigation I discovered another type of snake, The Western Brown Snake (or Gwardar) which does live in the area where this person said they saw a Tiger Snake, and which does have colour variations which may include stripes.

Without catching it and counting scales across the head and the belly, most laypersons, unless they've seen a lot of both types of snake would have trouble telling the difference, but some people assume the mantle of 'expert', just because they've been living in the one area for a long time, or are a 'local'.

Often these so called 'experts', or 'locals', have knowledge based on incorrect information that's been told to them by other 'locals' or 'experts', or false assumptions they've made themselves to avoid saying ' I'm not sure', or "I don't know".

Personally I need more evidence than someone saying "I saw it", "I know it to be true", or "so and so told me, and he/she would know". These ways of thinking are the reason for much disinformation accumulated by humans.

Six foot track

Got back a day early - we walked our arses off mate!!

Yeah, we walked 12 kms the first day, and then camped (we got a bus to the start point, so didn't start till 1140am), but day two (Saturday) we walked 33kms.

Maybe it was about 1.7 kms too far.

What happened was we rocked up at Cox's river campsite around 2pm, had lunch and then kept going, but no more campsites after that ( we found out ) - a lot of the track passing through private property and being on the sides of steep rocky hills.

We decided to press on to Katoomba, which didn't seem too bad, the final 8 kms being mostly an upward sloping road, but the sign "1.7 kms to the Explorer's Tree" (the end of the walk) signalled the start of the final treacherous section. By this time it was after 6 pm in late autumn, so totally dark, and my brother's light (I didn't have one) was failing.

I was doing ok till this last section, which was a series of log steps, or rocky climbs, the track climbing in the small cleft with two almost vertical hills rising up either side, and in many places there was water running across or down the path. In some spots there was water drifting down from the rock face far above. Luckily there was a moon, so once our eyes got used to the dark we could see enough, but I was done in.

I was trying to just focus on the next step, and make an effort to get up that one, resting and then thinking about the next, and after every 50 - 100 I had to stop and sit down for five minutes, being totally fucked. The steps were wet, so I got a wet arse, but didn't really give a fuck by then. It was probably about 6 or 7 degrees above freezing, with a strong wind blowing, so too cold for a t shirt, but I was sweating inside my polar fleece, and feeling like I couldn't go much further. I just went slower, stopping when I needed to.

This last bit was real hard because it was a steep climb, which would have been hard enough without a pack, but after already walking 31.3 kms and carrying a 16 kg pack (about 35lbs), it was pretty fucking hard.

We made it though, and called a cab home ($41, but I didn't care). We must have stunk that cab out, after two days of sweat and grime. It was so nice to get in the shower and my bro cooked some pasta which must have been good recovery food, because I feel great today - virtually no stiffness or pain, which totally amazes me after that walk and climb.

33kms is about 20 miles for those not into metrics.

To put it in perspective though, when it was just getting dark, with about 7 kms to go, we passed a sign saying "event in progress", and wondered what this meant.

Shortly after this, I was walking ahead and heard footsteps catching me quickly. Thinking it was the bro, I said "What do you think it is? A fucking race?", to which a strange voice replied: "Yes".

It wasn't my bro, it was a competitor in an ultra marathon, 100 km race (60 miles). This was 55km into their race, and though carrying less weight than us, he was still pretty fresh it seemed.

Going up the hill we were passed by about ten or so over the next two hours, and these guys were probably going to finish in the early hours of the morning. The race starts and ends in Leura, but over their 100 kms they climb (and descend) 4500 metres (about 15000 feet).

Fuck me, I thought we were mad enough, but I've gotta take my hat off to the ultra marathoners for endurance.

They must be good at switching their minds off, because I would be just thinking about how far I have to go, which obviously would make it seem like forever.

I'll post some photos later.

Smiling poses

Or should I say 'smiling posers'.

Do you ever look through a group of photos and notice that some people insist on the fake smile in every single shot.

They seem afraid to be captured on film (or the digital equivalent) without a cheesy grin, and frankly a smile does not make an ugly mug look good, and it doesn't necessarily make an attractive one look better.

Neither does the ridiculous attempt at 'sexiness' some try to portray with their version of a sultry look at the camera.

I would rather see some variation and naturalness than these obvious fake expressions.

Why do people feel the need to be seen with a smile all the time?

A photo is supposed to capture a moment in time, so if you are in fact laughing and smiling then good, but if not why go to all the trouble of attempting to put a sameness into every photo, thereby showing that they are all obviously not accurate observations of your state of mind (except that you are slightly mad and feel a need to force a grin when a camera appears).

World Tex day

Have you noticed how we seem to have national and world days for every fucking thing?

Everywhere I turn I seem to see another day to try and draw attention to somebody's pet like/dislike/angst ridden attempt to save the world, so I decided next Wednesday, the twenty first of May is "World Tex Day".

It happens to be my birthday too, which I actually only just realised as I came up with the idea of "World Tex Day", so that is a funny coincidence.

What do YOU plan to do on "World Tex Day"?

Some suggestions:

1: write a post on your blog/write to your local paper or politician to raise awareness of Tex and the plight of people like him.

2: Eat fresh rasberries and thick, creamy "European style" yoghurt (this is one of Tex's faves)

3: Spend a quiet minute of reflection to think about Tex.

4: Try to think of an inane, nonsensical thought and work it around in your mind a bit, just honouring whatever ridiculousness you come up with as a valid creation, which someone, somewhere may find of interest and write it down just for fun.

5: Send Tex a donation for Tex's personal ministries of knowledge, a help group with a single member; me.

6: Decide to be happy right now, and make a decision to go for a walk on World Tex Day for one hour. You are gonna enjoy this walk because you have decided to enjoy it, and rain, hail, snow, wind, or sunshine, you will enjoy it by dressing appropriately and enjoying the feel of the wind, water, sun, and the sound of whatever you see, be it cars, trucks, aeroplanes, people talking or nature.

Wish someone "Happy world Tex Day" and see what they say....

A frog went walking on a summer's day, ah hum.

Well, not quite. If you change the lyrics to 'a Tex is going to go walking on three Autumn days', you're getting closer.

My bro and I are going to walk The Six Foot Track tomorrow.

It's a 45km trail, originally built as a bridle trail, and being made six feet wide.

It's now a popular walk up here, so me and me bro are going.

I'll take the camera and should get some good snaps which I'll put on here.

We are getting a bus to Jenolan Caves and then walk back to katoomba, from where we can catch a train back to my place (oh fuck I am going to be so smelly by then, sorry other train passengers).

I'm taking a warm sleeping bag, and some food, my brother has a spare tent for me, plus water purification tablets and a small cooking stove.

I may take one spare pair of underwear, but it really won't kill me to be smelly for three days, and in actual fact I don't want to carry any more shit than absolutely necessary because it is all extra weight i have to carry on my own back.

The good thing about being smelly is that you get used to your own body odour as you gradually start to build up a layer of sweat, dead skin and grime, so it is very little bother at all. The only problem is for other people who have to be near you.

This will only be a worry when we reach civilisation again on Sunday, and fuck 'em i say, let 'em find out what a man smells like, it'll be good for 'em.

I must say though, I am already looking forward to lying in the bath next Sunday night - hope I don't have to get in after my brother though, imagine washing yourself in soupy, dirty water which has filthy other people's bits in it. Ooooh, that is so grody, grody to the max, barf out, gag me with a spoon, no way. Like, totally......................

My dog ate my kid

Yeah, the baby got eaten by the dingo - it's ok, if they take away the dingo I know a good breeder where I can get another.

The good thing is there's no evidence - the dog crunched up the bones and ate it all - I s'pose baby bones are soft and tasty, so when the authorities ask what happened to my baby I'll just say "what baby..............motherfucker?".(I find this sort of approach usually goes down well with police and other authority figures - gets them on side straight away).

Do you reckon babies are like other animals, in that they taste different depending on what they've been fed on?

I know they say free range animals taste better, so do ya reckon a breast fed baby would be tenderer and tastier than one weaned at an early age and fed on that goo in a jar?

Anyway, luckily babies are not threatened or endangered species otherwise I coulda got in some sort of trouble over it. A bit of fucking and another is easily produced anyway, I dunno why people carry on as though babies are so special.

"drizzled with jus"

Yeah, you know what i'm going to rant about doncha?

Those fucking up themselves wankers who write menus with shit in them like 'drizzled with..."(dressing or some sort of other liquid), or "lightly baked", or "seared and sealed before being baked to perfection", or "our mouth watering (food of some sort)", or "fresh from (the ocean/local farms/gardens)", or "lovingly prepared by our chef", or "served on a bed of (mashed tubers/green leaf/something else).

This sort of overly descriptive, adjective laden menu gives me the shits.

Alls I needs to know is what is it; not a fucking lie ridden advertising executive's idea of tricking me into buying a small quantity of shit quality food swimming in the vast expanses of an oversized dinner plate, and surrounded by some clinically measured dose of 'drizzled' hi falutin gravy.

The same goes for the people who frequent the places which serve this tripe, and who swallow the bullshit, hook, line and sinker, and start talking like they have a peg on their nose and a finger up their arse.

Admittedly some of it can taste ok, but the truth is in the tasting, not in the menu, and in my opinion, a more humbly presented menu which bears some relation to what I am going to get, along with high quality, well prepared food, is more useful than an indecipherable poetic outpouring.

The same sort of thing goes for those who sell, buy, consume or crap on about products other than restaurant food in the same sort of snobbish manner.

Two areas which immediately come to mind are wine and coffee. These two products seem to attract an inordinate amount of hype and to go along with it, a large amount of wankers who wouldn't know their arse from a hole in the ground, yet enjoy pretending they have some sort of monopoly on taste, because they like coffee and wine.

I can picture them now, sipping their fucking lattes...."yes, darling, this coffee is really divine. I wouldn't go anywhere else, except for that lovely little place in Paris which we discovered that gorgeous summer of 1995...................and as I was saying, last night we opened a glorious bottle of pinot grigio, you know it really is an acquired taste which so many people aren't lucky enough to have the chance to acquire (chuckle)".

They are addicted to caffeine and alcohol and by adopting this nose in the air attitude they are able to feel as though they are a cut above anyone else, or at least able to 'mix it' with movie stars and celebrities (who apparently drink lots of cawfee and pinot grigio or pinot noir, or cabernet sauvignon, or other wines with French, Italian or Spanish names - they sound better than 'a bottle of house red').

Of course I could go on to describe the snobbery prevalent in the lives of many, not just in what they eat, but in relation to everything else too (cars, houses, girl/boyfriends, clothing, books they read, where they holiday, pets they keep, music they listen to, oh the list goes on and on), but I think I've got my point across.

Not many people read or comment on this blog - because they're all fucking snobs who think their shit don't stink, and who don't like hearing the facts about themselves, but I bet if I went into the toilet after them it would be fucking putrid. I bet when the person they are cheating on their husband/wife with is giving them a head job that there is a distinct odour of manure wafting up from the nether regions.

My blog was visited by aliens

Yes, it's true.

You'll notice some comments on here which are not actually from humans.

It is hard to tell exactly which ones are from aliens, that is why they come on here, because it is an easy way to talk with us without having to reveal their true selves.

They know we would be scared of their four penises attached to their forehead, because whenever they get excited, they get erections of their forehead penises, which can be embarrassing for us humans to observe.

Not to mention when they rape, kill and eat us.

I know they visit because I saw it in a dream, -they visited my dream and told me they were coming to visit my blog.

In geological time we humans have only been here for a blink of an eye, so even though there may be other sentient beings out there somewhere, the chance of them being in existence during the same time period as us seems to me unlikely, unless they are quite a bit smarter than us and have managed to not fuck up their planet, and actually exist for long periods - like millions of years, instead of our mere thousands. Then as well as them being in existence at the same time as us, they would have to have developed some form of space travel to get here during our brief stay on Earth. For these reasons I used to doubt if aliens visited Earth, but after my dream I now know better.

Hi there purple people eater, hello ALIEN, hi predator, and hope you have a nice day Mr. Spock.

Incidentally, one thing you aliens may not understand is one of the quaint forms of greeting we have on planet Earth - it goes like this - "Hi, would you like fries with that order? Have a nice day". What it means is "Can I take some more of your money? I don't give a fuck about you, but I can repeat a meaningless corporate induced greeting ad-infinitum"